Pinto Bean Blondies

Who’s the official wackypants in your family? I know you have one – I’m pretty sure it’s a rule of nature.

You know who I’m talking about:  that uncle, cousin, sibling, what have you that shows up to family functions wearing a pirate costume and speaking in Klingon? Or maybe a particular parental unit who insists on a quick line dance when the Muzak version of Katy Perry’s latest comes on in the lobby of your local bank.

“I kissed a teller and I liked it…  ” (No, I am NOT the official wackypants of my family.)

I have a personal theory that this wacky behavior is disguising sheer genius. I developed this theory from studying my own family’s official wackypants, Aunt S.

Aunt S. enjoys rosé wine, Hawaiian folk music, and Maroon 5′s Adam Levine. Not necessarily in that order. Preferably all at once.

Aunt S. has been inspiring and confounding since I was wee.

Aunt S. is responsible for the brilliance that is these Pinto Bean Blondies.

All hail Aunt S.

Aunt S. and I communicate via the written word (because texting, emailing and phoning are all just too normal) so I wasn’t surprised to receive this latest letter. There was chit chat, there was family news, and then there was a brief mention of ‘Blonde Brownies’. Aunt S. made hers for a friendly gathering out of only 1 can of pinto beans, puréed, and 1 box mix of Pineapple Supreme Cake.

Liking stuff from scratch a little more and pineapple a little less, I decided to make a few adjustments. But the seed was planted. That ingenious little seed.

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Lime Nut Coconut Bark

It’s Wednesday. Let’s make some candy!

The truth is that I’m not a super huge candy person. I’d much rather shove a cupcake or a donut into my face. But if I am going to reach for candy, it’s going to be something rustic and simple like a brittle or a nice piece of bark.

And since it’s warm out and I’ve got beaches on the brain, I’m pretty sure it’s time for some sweet, substantive, flavored cocada.

Don’t get me wrong:  Snickers, Junior Mints and Reese’s definitely have a place in the pantheon of Sweets Excellence. I just personally prefer the flavor-popping excellence that can only come from homemade candy.

Plus, when you go homemade you’re in the driver’s seat, which is always nice.

Today we’re steering towards sweet coconut and lime. Because the sun is shining. Because my bathing suit has been unmothballed. Because I’ve started hinting to A. about trips to the shore.

It must be summertime. We’re going to need snacks.

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Cowboy Beans

If I was rewriting the lyrics to “I’d Like To Give The World A Coke”, I’m pretty sure it would go something like this:

I’d like to give the world a good, solid, go-to bean recipe.
Soaked overnight, seasoned and flavored.
And, of course, spiced up with a few fresh chiles.
That’s the real thing.

Can’t you just hear it in your head? I can.

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Mexican Chocolate Cherry Cupcakes

Ah, vacations…  why do you dog me out so?

You’re always amazing on the front end, but the back end? Not so much.

So when I awake this morn, surrounded by mountains of laundry, messy suitcases, stacks of messages to return, and a fridge to clean out, what is the correct way to approach?

Breeze past the apocalypse that is my house and spend the day making cupcakes. Duh.

It’s not that the tasks and chores themselves are so incredibly daunting, it’s the mental process of coming down off of the high of a vacation. Don’t you agree? The process of actually making your brain work differently again.

Your days are no longer about choosing between piña coladas and margaritas. Sorry.

Now it’s commutes and carpool. Bill-paying and boss-emailing. Laundry and lame pre-summer movies.

Woe.

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