Oooey Gooey Agave Butter Bars

Agave Butter Bars

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Today I don’t have too much to say to you

I just put a whole pan
Of Oooey Gooey Agave Butter Bars into my face
Which is why, for words, there isn’t much space

When I get over these dessert bars
Later this week, in fact
I’ll be back, with my dignity (hopefully) still intact

So for today, just enjoy
Some sweet, delicious fun
These butter bars are calling your name – bet you can’t have just one.

Agave Butter Bars

recipe adapted from the May 2013 issue of Better Homes and Gardens

1 1/2 + 1 c. all-purpose flour, divided
1/4 + 1 1/4 c. white sugar, granulated, divided
1/2 + 2/3 c. unsalted butter, softened, divided
1/4 c. light agave nectar
1 large egg
1/2 tsp. almond extract
1 tsp. vanilla extract
2/3 c. half-and-half

Preheat oven to 350°.

Line a 9″ x 13″ baking pan with parchment paper and set aside.

To prepare the crust, combine one and one half cups flour and one fourth cup sugar in a large bowl. Using a pastry blender or a large fork, cut in one half cup of butter until the mixture resembles fine crumbs. Pat into the prepared pan and set aside.

Beat remaining butter and sugar together until light and fluffy. Beat in agave nectar, egg, almond extract, and vanilla extract just until combined. Beat in the half-and-half, alternating with the remaining flour, beating just until you have a uniform batter. Gently spread the batter into crust-lined baking pan. Bake until center is just set, approximately 30-35 minutes. Cool in pan before using the parchment paper to remove and slicing into bars.

YIELD:  approximately 15 large bars

Mexican Mocha Milkshakes

Mexican Mocha Milkshake

Heat has happened here.
Sun sure’s scorching.
Temperature topped triples today.

It’s #*$%ing hot out.

Which probably explains why I’ve been craving frosty milkshakes like it’s my J-O-B.

I really like this particular milkshake because, although it has a bunch of different stuff going on -coffee, vanilla, melted Mexican chocolate, canela- it’s super simple to prepare.

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Pinto Bean Blondies

Who’s the official wackypants in your family? I know you have one – I’m pretty sure it’s a rule of nature.

You know who I’m talking about:  that uncle, cousin, sibling, what have you that shows up to family functions wearing a pirate costume and speaking in Klingon? Or maybe a particular parental unit who insists on a quick line dance when the Muzak version of Katy Perry’s latest comes on in the lobby of your local bank.

“I kissed a teller and I liked it…  ” (No, I am NOT the official wackypants of my family.)

I have a personal theory that this wacky behavior is disguising sheer genius. I developed this theory from studying my own family’s official wackypants, Aunt S.

Aunt S. enjoys rosé wine, Hawaiian folk music, and Maroon 5′s Adam Levine. Not necessarily in that order. Preferably all at once.

Aunt S. has been inspiring and confounding since I was wee.

Aunt S. is responsible for the brilliance that is these Pinto Bean Blondies.

All hail Aunt S.

Aunt S. and I communicate via the written word (because texting, emailing and phoning are all just too normal) so I wasn’t surprised to receive this latest letter. There was chit chat, there was family news, and then there was a brief mention of ‘Blonde Brownies’. Aunt S. made hers for a friendly gathering out of only 1 can of pinto beans, puréed, and 1 box mix of Pineapple Supreme Cake.

Liking stuff from scratch a little more and pineapple a little less, I decided to make a few adjustments. But the seed was planted. That ingenious little seed.

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Ultimate Rice Pudding

I like to exercise. I really do.

The problem arises when the body requests a change-up in the old exercise routine.

I learned from my team athletics days that this will, inevitably, occur from time to time; the muscles become trained, the brain becomes bored, and it becomes necessary to seek out a new physical challenge.

For an accident-prone, lifelong klutz like me, this can present some issues.

I suppose the appropriate solution would be to simply overlook my unfortunate shortcomings, find a new exercise routine, and hope for the best.

But concerns over physical injury (to myself and members of the general public) and property damage abound.

As I pondered my options, I decided to make some Ultimate Rice Pudding.

Rice pudding is one of those super foods that can cure just about any ailment:  it’s warm, it’s substantive, and it can be dressed up or down depending on the needs of the consumer.

It’s also an opportunity to engage in a little low-impact exercise. You can stir your way into some of the sveltest wrists known to man!

And it’s pretty much a guarantee that nobody will be harmed during this particular workout.

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Pistachio Muffins

Yesterday we talked about underrated foods, à la walnuts. Today I’m thinking about later-in-life foods. As in, stuff you just didn’t eat until you were adult-like. But now that you’re older and much, much wiser, you enjoy your new culinary discoveries all the time!

A lot of people tell me that avocados are their LIL foods. Also fava beans.

One poor soul told me that Jolly Ranchers were his LIL food. I gave him a hug and we cried together.

Pistachios are my later-in-life food. I honestly can’t remember eating them at all until I met A., who is a true pistachiophile. He taught me proper cracking technique.

I really grew to appreciate the unique flavor of pistachios, but it wasn’t until I started reading about working them into cakes, cookies, flans and even moles that I was truly hooked.

Today we’re making little, green pistachio muffins. For breakfast!

I have this idea that muffins can be quite boring, which is why I like to play with their texture when I make them.

These pistachio muffins involve the nuts two ways:  ground into a pistachio ‘pesto’ and chopped whole kernels.

If you’re lucky enough to find a sack of shelled pistachios, you’re money. If not, pull up a chair, throw on a good movie, and prepare to crack your face off:  we need 1 1/2 cups of pistachio kernels for these muffins.

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Torta De Cielo

I will confess to you that I am not a huge fan of almonds. I went through a huge tamari almond phase in college and I simply ate myself out of them. Do you ever eat yourself out of a food? Unfortunately I have yet to eat myself out of peanut butter, bacon, or raw cookie dough, but I digress.

This is the story of The Little Torta That Could. Could talk me back into the fold of Almond Appreciation. I’ll tell you the story of this torta through pictures, since it is such an easy cake to prepare.

And not hard to love! See if you fall in love with almonds, and possibly this classic torta, too…

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