I remember back in the day, when cell phones were enormous and hair was enormouser, my friends and I would scour the Earth for CD releases from our favorite indie bands. As soon as we were able to score a CD or two, we’d lock the door to one of our rooms and sit around listening to each track over and over and over and over, hating on the world and loving on the music.
At some point it became a thing for bands to include double top-secret bonus tracks that lucky listeners would have to find on their own. Imagine skipping over track after track after track hoping to find that hidden gem. This girl did it. Because once you found it you were the coolest kid in town, sharing your bonus goodness find with anyone who you deemed worthy.
If you’ve read this book, you know that Crack Pie is listed as the bonus track to the rest of the book’s string of hits.
I found that hidden track. I’m sharing it with you. Prepare to have your brain fall out of your head. It’s time for Crack Pie.
The recipe for Crack Pie is deceptively simple. You’re making a crust and you’re making a filling. Duh.
You need to use your stand mixer. And you need to pay attention while you’re baking. But you’ll be churning out two whole pies in no time.
I suspect the key to successful Crack Pieage is twofold:
1. Creaming the filling in a stand mixer. The book flat out says it. And it makes sense since you’re not filling with mounds of apples or pecans or anything else with its own texture and consistency. You’re making your pie filling from scratch so it needs to be perfecto. You can do it with a hand mixer, and things will still taste stellar. It just might not be, you know, crack-like.
2. Baking the pies carefully, at the correct temperatures, for the correct amount of time. The recipe instructs a baking time of 15 minutes at 350° before you lower the temp to 325° and bake until only the bulls-eye center remains jiggly. My oven is stoopit so I really needed to watch carefully as I lowered the temperature, alternating between keeping the door open and then closed so that the temp dropped but not too low. No biggie. Just keep your eye on it.