Sangrita Layer Cake

The neighborhood pool is open. Your grill is fired up. And I’ve rolled my Slip ‘N Slide Double Wave Rider out on the front lawn.

Summer has officially arrived.

Which can only mean one thing:  you’re going to need something a little more interesting than a box of wine or basket of weenies to bring to the next picnic, potluck or pool party. Allow me to humbly suggest trying a Sangrita Layer Cake with Citrus Meringue Frosting and Agave Crunch on for size.

In case you’ve never tried it, sangrita is not to be confused with sangria. They’re both fruity and they both start with an ‘s’ and end in an ‘a’, but the similarities end there.

Traditional sangrita preparations are designed to be a non-alcoholic compliment to a straight shot of tequila blanco. While there are many recipes for sangrita floating around out there, most include a base of sweet citrus juices paired with ground chiles or hot sauce for heat. Variations can include pomegranate juice, mango juice, cucumber and even fresh chiles.

Much modern sangrita is made with tomato juice and, although purists may turn their nose insisting that the red color of the drink should come from freshly ground chile powder instead of tomato juice, I personally prefer the tomato juice variation and I’m sticking with it.

This layer cake is based on a modern sip of sangrita. Don’t freak out about the tomato – I’ll hold your hand and talk you through it.

The thing about tomatoes is that they actually are really sweet, especially in the summer. Don’t you agree?

And when you pair them with fresh, sweet citrus juices and, you know, put some frosting on top, there’s really nothing to be scared of.

The naturally bright orange color hiding underneath the glossy white frosting is a bonus.

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Hair Of The Dog Cheesecake

So I caught A. Googling pictures of McRibs the other day.

We’re trying to live a little healthier, a little cleaner around these parts, and there may have been a few unintended side effects.

McDonald’s gawking. T. Bell stalking. Visions of In-N-Out dancing in our heads. No biggie.

Which is why I knew that when A.’s birthday rolled around a few weeks ago that I needed to throw him a bone and make him his fave, a cheesecake.

But not just any cheesecake. An Adult Cheesecake! Because we are (usually) adults!

And let me tell you another thing or two about this cheesecake.

First, it’s an Adult Cheesecake because it’s made with high-quality Adult Juice, specifically, Patrón Silver.

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Guy’s Mambo Rice

Let me tell you something about kitchen gadgets:  I don’t like them.

I don’t like them because they take up space and, I don’t know about you, but in my kitchen, countertop real estate is in high demand.

I also don’t like kitchen gadgets because I think that they create a barrier between the chef and the food.

I know it sounds super geeky, but I believe in learning to cook by doing. Getting your hands dirty. Putting your back in to it.

Nothing’s getting dirty with the Slap Chop.

Nobody’s putting their back into anything with the Amco Egg Cracker.

Really? There’s a gadget out there for breaking eggs?

Yes, people. And you can pay $8.57 for it! $8.57 to crack eggs! Sanity! You’ve deserted us!

So you’ll understand when I tell you that it took me ten years to commit to purchasing a rice maker.

The fact of the matter is that A. loves rice and I was spending a lot of time slaving over sixty trillion hot pots every night just trying to get dinner to the table.

Why not give myself the option to slave over just 59,999,999,999,999?

So I took the leap. And now I’m in gadget love.

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Baking Like Water For Chocolate: Chabela Wedding Cake

This post is about love. This post is about life. This post is about cake.

Let’s get into it.

Have you read this book?

If you like love you’ll like this book.
If you like to laugh you’ll like this book.
If you like food you’ll like this book.

If you don’t like any of these things…  um, what are you doing reading this blog?

I absolutely adore Like Water For Chocolate – I’ve read and reread it more times than I can count.

So it was a natural that, when the right time came along, I would bake my way through it.

And I couldn’t help but start with this wedding cake that appears early on in the book.

Now before the literary purists in the crowd go all Mr. Hyde on me, I want to stress that this is my own interpretation of the Chabela Wedding Cake. Like Water For Chocolate relies heavily on magical realism to tell its tale, plus the original cake was intended to serve 180 people – the recipe calls for 170 eggs.

Given that I don’t have a hen house in my backyard, I adapted the recipe to suit my own needs.

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Sweet Glazed Avocado Pop Tarts

So the neighborhood of my youth was dominated by two epic debates:

1. Who had the best sticker collection; and

2. Pop Tarts vs. Toaster Strudels.

After Luna down the street got her mom to invest in a heavy set of puffys that were also scratch and sniffs, I was straight up locked out of the sticker race. I took my glow in the darks, glitters and googly eyes home and packed it in.

But I held my head high because I always knew that I was on the side of all that is good and right in the universe when it came to breakfast pastries.

Let me break it down for you. First of all, Toaster Strudels are not portable. Take this exchange that actually occurred at a bus stop somewhere in Virginia sometime in the 1980s:

M.:  Hey there. I love your New Kids On The Block lunchbox.

Girl With A Toaster Strudel:  Thanks! I would totally open it up and show you the coordinating thermos that’s inside, but I’ve got this Toaster Strudel in one hand and a tube of glaze in the other. I need to apply my glaze as I eat my breakfast pastry. This just isn’t working.

M.:  Bet you wished you had a Pop-Tart right now instead of that stoopit Toaster Strudel.

Girl With A Toaster Strudel:  Sing it sister.

Here’s the next issue with Toaster Strudels:  they take way too much effort to prepare.

Seriously, your jamming for the bus stop, you’ve GOT to get the seat next to that boy that you’re seriously crushing on, you can’t forget your lunchbox, homework or leg warmers, and you’re expected to preheat an oven, stand in front of it while your Toaster Strudel bakes, let your Toaster Strudel cool enough to be edible, and then chow down?

I think not.

You can’t even accidentally leave a box of Toaster Strudels out on the counter overnight when you need a snack after you sneak downstairs to call Kiss 109.2 FM and request Aerosmith’s Angel for Boy That You’re Seriously Crushing On.

They’ll be ruined.

Just like your hopes and dreams of Boy That You’re Seriously Crushing On hearing your request, knowing it was sent from you and falling immediately in love.

Broken dreams, broken breakfast. That’s a bad day.

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Grilled Plum Tostadas

Following is a 5-point plan for achieving total self-humiliation in a public place. Stick to the instructions closely and your success is guaranteed!

Step 1:  Show up at your local farm garden wearing yoga pants and sandals.

Fantastic! We’re off to an excellent start! It’s only 104° in the shade and you’re about to wade through rows of crops – you might as well be wearing a sign around your neck saying ‘I’m an indoors girl.’

Step 2:  Be sure to stand directly underneath each plum tree that you’re shaking to loosen the fruits.

Perfect! We all know that tree shaking is the proper way to harvest fruit, so why not stand directly underneath the heavy fruits as you’re shaking?

And those plum pieces will definitely come out of your hair eventually, right? No worries.

Step 3:  No water. No hat. No harvest bag. Rock star shades! ‘Nuff said.

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