Dear Potato Salad,
If I’m honest, I’ve spent the last 25 years responding to even the mention of your name with hateful thoughts. I’m sorry! I’m sorry…
but you’re just so cold. And high-maintenance – I can’t even leave you out on the picnic table for more than 30 minutes!
I try to take you to parties and you’re always difficult and unsociable; I mean, you just look like a hot mess after 10 minutes. It’s embarrassing.
And for all of these reasons, I think some changes are in order. I’ve gathered together this crack team of makeover professionals: a wardrobe stylist, personal grooming specialist, and makeup artist who has clearly got her work cut out for her.