Lunchbox Horchata Cookies

When I think back on all those first days of school, I, of course, remember them from my perspective:

Praying to the Homeroom Gods that I would get the best teacher assignment;
Packing away my sticker and Sweet Valley High book collections, knowing they would be gathering dust while I spent nine months doing stupid stuff like studying and learning;
Buffing my Trapper Keeper to a Bat-Signal-bright sheen;
And selecting just the right outfit to make just the right impression on that first, fortuitous day.

But, in retrospect, things must have been pretty rough for my Mom and Dad as well.

My brother, sister and I tended to want to eat regularly, and I’m sure keeping growing bodies in nutrition and energy requires a more sophisticated strategy than simply throwing some Flintstone vitamins into the morning’s pancake batter.

Plus there’s the matter of keeping up with food trends and what we would inevitably see our friends bringing to school lunch that we would then have to have for our own the next day, along with the question of what to prepare for the near-holy after-school snack. And dinner! Sakes alive, don’t forget dinner!

All that without having the benefit of hitting up the Interwebz for ideas. Talk about walking uphill to school both ways in the wintertime – that must have been rough.

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Milk Bar Mondays: Chocolate Chocolate Cookies

Isn’t baking fun? Yes! Duh.

And when it comes to baking, I actually enjoy the failures just as much as the successes. Most of the time.

Take the Milk Bar cookie, for example.

It would be an understatement to say that the story of Me & The Milk Bar Cookie began as a tale of epic failure. Fire reigning from the sky. Swarms of locusts. Clothing rending. Fetal positioning. (Stay with me – there’s chocolate at the end of this story.)

If you’ve stopped by here on a Monday over the past few months, you know that I have no shortage of love for all things Milk Bar:  cakes, pies, curds and creams – there’s really nothing for a sugar addict such as myself not to love.

So cookies were going to be a lock, right? Simple to bake, so easy to consume, cookies, to me, are like dessert redux; they’re everything a sweet tooth could want and so much more.

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Chipotle Chocolate Chunk Cookies

If I’m honest, the last few weeks have not been the best for me. Just the stuff of life. With a dash of frustration. A pinch of missed opportunity. And a cup and a half of failure.

No biggie.

But one of the major benefits of growing longer in the tooth is that you learn to self-soothe. Don’t you think?

So when I found myself on the couch at the end of last week, surrounded by no less than 3 empty cartons of Ben & Jerry’s Greek Frozen Yogurt, listening to the dulcet tones of Hanson, and weeping over a particularly emotional commercial for Tillamook cheese, I saw the writing on the wall. It was time to kick the self-soothe machine into high gear.

I hit the gym for some Sweat Therapy. I hit the stores for some Retail Therapy. I hit the business end of my remote control for some Reality Therapy. And, of course, I hit the kitchen for some Calorie Counseling.

You know, the usual recipe for feeling better in no time.

But what’s this?

What to do when all the usual suspects aren’t answering with the warm wash of comfort?

Peanut butter, pizza, impulse shoe shopping and Say Yes To The Dress don’t fail me now!

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Milk Bar Mondays: Cornflake Cookies

My mom was pretty strict with the sweets when we were kids. It’s true.

And it was a hardship. You try smuggling 3 Twix bars home in the waistband of your shorts on a 98°, 110% humidity August day in Virginia.

That’s just not the kind of accident you want to have on the bus ride home from your first day of second grade.

I would have to say that the morning cereal bowl was where it hurt the most. I don’t care what you add to them, Grape-Nuts just aren’t cool. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

But cornflakes were tolerable. They really were. Between cornflakes and Rice Krispies with honey, I managed to survive my sugar-free youth.

Now, many moons later, imagine how it feels to take some healthy cornflakes and snazz them up with some chocolate chips and mini marshmallows. Sinful. Sinful I tell you! Please don’t tell my mom.

As I’ve baked my way through this illustrious book, I’ve learned one really important thing about the recipes:  you really just need to do what C. Tosi says. Exactly as she says it.

Take these cookies, for example. If you don’t 1)  use full fat butter, preferably European-style butter, 2)  follow the Milk Bar extended mixing method, and 3)  take the time to chill your dough before baking, you’re going to end up with a cookie puddle on your pan.

It will be the most delicious puddle that your mouth will ever trip and fall into, but it will be a puddle nonetheless.

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Clean Pantry Cookies

At the risk of you, my friends, thinking that I’m a water-avoiding, Hot Pocket-guzzling, no work-doing, reality TV addict, I’d like to spend today discussing a New Year’s Resolution Victory from this past week.

Don’t worry, my DVR is fully programmed for any Bachelor and/or Jersey Shore opportunities, and Hot Pockets stand up well to re-microwaving.

Pay close attention, people. Things won’t be looking this good again until January 9, 2013.

That’s right:  spices were alphabetized, canned goods were color-coded, dried chiles were sorterated, and my pantry actually got cleaned.

Believe.

And I don’t know about you, but when the Dog Star aligns with the Moon, Halley’s Comet threads the Eye of the Tiger and my pantry actually gets cleaned, I always wind up with a counter full of a little bit of this and a little bit of that:

4 ounces of white chocolate
1 tablespoon of honey
a dash of ground ancho chile
2 1/2 teaspoons of sesame seeds
3 1/4 ounces of butterscotch chips
a pinch of chia seeds
1 smidgen of some indeterminate substance wrapped in tinfoil and labeled simply ‘Dinner, Feb. 2011′

Huh? Whatever.

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Sweet Potato Casserole Cookie Bars

Cookies are a beautiful thing, don’t you think?

So are butterflies. And rainbows! And puppies. All very beautiful.

And these beautiful things were exactly what I was thinking about when I came home yesterday and found my house flooded.

Why? Because I’m a lady.

That’s right.

My mother and my grandmothers taught me well, and I engage in ladylike behavior at all times.

It doesn’t matter that your dishwasher, washing machine and kitchen sink all decided to simultaneously explode all over your house. No.

A lady at all times!

And as a lady, you would certainly never curse. It wouldn’t even occur to you!

So there’s no way that, as you watch poor little B. sail into the bedroom on a stack of cooking magazines, you would unleash a torrent of profanities that would make Charles Barkley blush.

Never.

And because you’re a lady, you’d never even think an unpleasant thought about another person. No, sir!

So it just couldn’t be that you would spend hours telling A. how you’re going to track down that Maytag Man, kick him in the shins, punch him in the face, and then laugh while cries.

Nope. Not you, lady.

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Chocolate Chile Pumpkin Cookies

I’ll keep things short today. Because, you know…  #itsFriday

#andyouhaveimportantthingstodo

#likebuyingmorecandy

#andstitchingupcostumes

#andIclearlyneedtospendlesstimeonTwitter

#whatever

Seriously, the time suckage around here is epic.

There are tweets to be tweeted, pins to be pinned, statuses to update…

And then there are the jack-0-lanterns that need to be carved, candy that needs to be taste-tested (for safety, of course), and certain doggies that need to sit still for their final costume fittings.

What can I say? #IcantwaitforHalloween

So we need to be efficient today, right? Right.

It’s time to bust out our go-toiest go-to recipe. That one that’s sure to please and simple to prepare. You know? Yes, you know.

#ChocolateChileShortbread

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Mexican Chocolate Skillet Cookie

Can we please try something a little different today? Pretty please?

I’d like to tell you the story of the little skillet cookie that could with pictures instead of words. Maybe just a few words, but not a lot.

It’s a good story. With a happy ending. So let’s get going.

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Cowgirl Cookies

Remember when we made Cowboy Cookies? That was fun.

But lately I’ve been thinking that it was a little unfair.

What about cowgirls?

They work hard. They like cookies. What’s up?

Let’s get our cookie equity on.

Let’s right a wrong.

Let’s make some Cowgirl Cookies.

The idea for this cookie started with a little salty and a little sweet. A little soft and a little crunch. A little sugar and a little spice.

The salt comes from the pretzels and the sweet comes from the melty caramels.

Salt works well with caramel.

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New Mexican Bizcochitos

Bizcochitos are sweet, buttery and flaky.

Bizcochitos are slightly zesty, spicy and tart.

Bizcochitos are the state cookie of New Mexico, and this is a title that I strongly support.

I mean, really. These are serious times - people need to know what’s what.

And information is king.

Perhaps you’re considering a move across state lines. Or you’re thinking about taking a job in a different time zone. Maybe your son or daughter is contemplating heading off to college on the opposite coast.

Wouldn’t you prefer to be making these life-altering decisions armed with the knowledge of what types of cookies you are transitioning to and from?

Let’s say that you are choosing between a move to Georgia and a move to Alabama. Doesn’t this decision become infinitely easier if you know that you’re choosing between a gorgeous, peachy-keen, sugar-dusted cookie and a fruitcake-like, slightly stale confection? (No offense to Alabama -I think we know who’s who here- this example was merely for illustrative purposes.)

College in Connecticut versus New York might be an extremely difficult choice, but it’s a breeze once you know that you’re picking between a nutty, soft, caramel cookie and a lumpy, dry, oatmeal, thing.

A job in Kansas versus a job in Missouri becomes a no-brainer when you replace Kansas with chocolate butterscotch drops and Missouri with dried prune cookies.

Duh.

I think you can see where I’m going with this.

So much critical information missing from so many crucial decisions.

It’s time to start fighting for our rights!

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