So the neighborhood of my youth was dominated by two epic debates:
1. Who had the best sticker collection; and
2. Pop Tarts vs. Toaster Strudels.
After Luna down the street got her mom to invest in a heavy set of puffys that were also scratch and sniffs, I was straight up locked out of the sticker race. I took my glow in the darks, glitters and googly eyes home and packed it in.
But I held my head high because I always knew that I was on the side of all that is good and right in the universe when it came to breakfast pastries.
Let me break it down for you. First of all, Toaster Strudels are not portable. Take this exchange that actually occurred at a bus stop somewhere in Virginia sometime in the 1980s:
M.: Hey there. I love your New Kids On The Block lunchbox.
Girl With A Toaster Strudel: Thanks! I would totally open it up and show you the coordinating thermos that’s inside, but I’ve got this Toaster Strudel in one hand and a tube of glaze in the other. I need to apply my glaze as I eat my breakfast pastry. This just isn’t working.
M.: Bet you wished you had a Pop-Tart right now instead of that stoopit Toaster Strudel.
Girl With A Toaster Strudel: Sing it sister.
Here’s the next issue with Toaster Strudels: they take way too much effort to prepare.
Seriously, your jamming for the bus stop, you’ve GOT to get the seat next to that boy that you’re seriously crushing on, you can’t forget your lunchbox, homework or leg warmers, and you’re expected to preheat an oven, stand in front of it while your Toaster Strudel bakes, let your Toaster Strudel cool enough to be edible, and then chow down?
I think not.
You can’t even accidentally leave a box of Toaster Strudels out on the counter overnight when you need a snack after you sneak downstairs to call Kiss 109.2 FM and request Aerosmith’s Angel for Boy That You’re Seriously Crushing On.
They’ll be ruined.
Just like your hopes and dreams of Boy That You’re Seriously Crushing On hearing your request, knowing it was sent from you and falling immediately in love.
Broken dreams, broken breakfast. That’s a bad day.
Finally, we’re down to the flavor facet of this timeless rivalry.
In one corner you have the likes of Apple, Wildberries, Cherry and Danish Style Cream Cheese.
In the other corner you have Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, S’Mores, Wild Grape and Confetti Cake.
While I recognize that not all of these flavors were available at the time that I was forming my undying commitment to Pop-Tarts, they are clearly indicative of some serious breakfast pastry innovation that I’m sure I sensed in the Pop-Tarts of yore.
So, you know, are you sold?
You must be.
If you’re still reaching for a Toster Strudel then I’m concerned for our future together.
I’ll make one last-ditch effort to get you to remove your Team Toaster Strudel jersey and don the glorious, glittery, glowing robes of Team Pop-Tart: try one of my Sweet Avocado Pop Tarts.
I crafted a flaky crust, mashed and sweetened fresh, rich Chilean Hass avocadoes, and glazed the top of eat pocket of heaven with a sweet lime frosting that would make Mr. Pop-Tart himself proud.
Sorry Mr. Toaster Strudel. It’s always been Pop-Tart.
Sweet Avocado Pop Tarts With Lime Glaze
For the pastry:
3 c. all-purpose flour
1 1/2 c. unsalted butter, chilled, cubed
1/4 c. white sugar, granulated
1/4 c. + 2 tbsp. water, cold
1/2 tsp. salt
For the filling:
2 c. chopped avocados (This is roughly 2 ripe Chilean Hass avocados. You can use any varietal of avocado that you prefer, as long as they are ripe.)
3 tbsp. lime juice, fresh
1/2 c white sugar, granulated
For the glaze:
3 c. confectioners’ sugar
1/2 c. lime juice, fresh
To prepare the pastry, place the flour, sugar and salt in the bowl of a food processor fitted with a steel blade. Pulse a few times just to blend. Add the cubed butter and pulse until the mixture resembles a coarse meal with bits of butter sprinkled throughout. With the processor running, add the water through the feed tube and continue to process just until a solid ball of dough forms.
Remove the dough to a floured board and knead just a few times into a smooth, uniform ball. Separate the dough into two evenly sized balls, wrap and refrigerate for at least one hour or up to overnight.
When your dough has chilled and you are ready to prepare and assemble your tarts, preheat the oven to 350° and remove your dough to a well-floured work surface. Roll each piece of dough out into a rectangle that roughly measures 8″ x 12″ with an approximate thickness of 1/4″. Using a straight edge and a sharp knife or pastry cutter, trim out 16 rectangles that measure 3″ x 4″. You may need to assemble your scraps and re-roll your dough a few times to get even, accurate pieces – don’t sweat it. But if you do this more than a few times you should stick your cut pieces of dough back in the refrigerator for 30 minutes to be sure that they’re chilled through once you assemble and bake the tarts.
Lay your pieces onto parchment lined baking sheets and set the sheets aside.
In a large bowl, place the pieces of peeled, pitted and chopped avocado. Add the lime juice and sugar and mash to a chunky consistency. Using a tablespoon measure, spoon approximately 2 tablespoons of the avocado mixture onto 8 pieces of cut pastry (I baked the tarts in sets of four, so you should have two trays of tarts to bake.). Carefully drape a second rectangle of pastry on top of each mound of avocado and use a fork to press the top and bottom of each tart together down all four sides. Again using your fork, gently pierce the top of each tart several times to allow steam to vent. Bake your tarts for 28-32 minutes or until the edges are just turning a golden shade of brown. Remove the baked tarts to cool.
Meanwhile, prepare your glaze by whisking the confectioners’ sugar and lime juice together in a large bowl.
Finish your tarts by generously glazing the top of each with the lime glaze.
YIELD: 8 large pop tarts